


Hockey Boys are Idiots

by unconventionalturtle



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: F/F, Friends to Lovers, M/M, POV Outsider, i love outsider pov so here you go, smh is ridiculous
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:48:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28005660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unconventionalturtle/pseuds/unconventionalturtle
Summary: " When Elena goes back to Annie’s at 7:15 am on Wednesday it’s only because yesterday the captain of the hockey team gave her a mini pie after one of his teammates threw a mini pie at someone else for “disturbing a delicate ecosystem.” It has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that Sam has a very nice smile and might have been flirting with her. It doesn’t."
Relationships: Adam "Holster" Birkholtz/Justin "Ransom" Oluransi, Derek "Nursey" Nurse/William "Dex" Poindexter, Eric "Bitty" Bittle/Jack Zimmermann, OFC/OFC
Comments: 53
Kudos: 141





	Hockey Boys are Idiots

**Author's Note:**

> I posted "Library aide who runs the “Is SMH in the Library” Twitter account/Annie’s barista who serves SMH, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn" on tumblr as a joke but then it turned out I had a lot of thoughts about it, like 4000 words of thoughts.

As far as student worker jobs go, being a library aide is a pretty decent gig. Elena’s boss lets her listen to music while she works and there’s something bizarrely soothing about reading call number after call number. That being said, if she doesn’t want to fall asleep while reading call numbers today, she’s going to need coffee. Hence why she’s standing in line at Annie’s, waiting for the two hockey bros in front of her to order.

“I’m not saying you’re _wrong_ Ransom,” the short one says, “I’m just saying that sometimes a boy wants a pumpkin spice latte in January.”

“And I’ll _I’m_ saying is that you wouldn’t be appreciating your pumpkin spice latte so much today if you could get one any time you wanted.”

They finally move to the pick-up counter and Elena rolls her eyes. “Hockey bros am I right?” she says to the girl at the counter who laughs.

“ _Tell me about it_. Those boys are idiots. You run into them a lot?”

“Don’t tell anyone,” Elena whispers, “but I may or may not be the one behind the “Is SMH in the Library?” twitter account.”

This prompts a laugh out of the girl at the counter and Elena smiles.

“Thank you for you service,” she says with a mock salute. “What can I get for today?”

“Oh, just a small latte please.”

“Name?”

“Elena.”

“Pretty name,” the girl, whose name tag reads “Sam”, says with a smile.

Elena smiles back and moves to the pick-up counter while her drink is made.

“By the way,” Sam says as she hands her the latte, “you’re always welcome to come complain about the hockey boys with me, I work 7-11 Monday through Friday.”

“I might just take you up on that,” Elena grins.

It’s an hour into her shift at the library when Elena realizes that Sam _may_ have been flirting with her.

* * *

When Elena goes back to Annie’s at 7:15 am on Wednesday it’s only because yesterday the captain of the hockey team gave her a mini pie after one of his teammates threw a mini pie at someone else for “disturbing a delicate ecosystem.” It has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that Sam has a very nice smile and might have been flirting with her. It doesn’t.

She walks into Annie’s and is pleasantly surprised that its fairly empty. And that Sam is at the counter.

“Hey there, are you here for coffee or hockey idiot gossip?”

“How about both?”

“Tall latte?” Sam asks and Elena nods.

Today she has time, so she sits at the counter.

“So, what’d those idiots do this time?” Sam asks as she slides the coffee across the counter.

Elena recounts the mini pie fiasco and Sam laughs.

“They’re so oblivious sometimes you know?”

“Right? Like do you not hear yourselves, do you not understand what’s happening?”

“And the captain always arguing with the short blond one about Twitter?”

“Oh! They do that here too. It’s like, how do you boys not understand what you’re doing?”

“Exactly!”

“How do you not realize you’re—”

“In love with each other!” Sam exclaims at the same time that Elena says, “So loud!”

They both stop and look at each other.

“Wait.”

“What?”

“Are we not talking about how at least 8 guys on the team are in love with each other?”

“We’re… WHAT?” Elena asks, because this is _not_ where she though the conversation was going.

“What were _you_ talking about?”

“Um, I was talking about how they don’t understand how _loud_ they are all the time. But I wanna know more about what _you’re_ talking about. What do you mean they’re all in love with each other?”

“Oh,” Sam says, lowering her voice and leaning in closer. “I mean I don’t _know_ that any of them are in love, well except for those two dudes who always fist bump, I saw them kiss one time. But like coral reef and pie thrower were the two frat bros who are both like giants right?”

Elena nods. “Oluransi and Birkholtz.”

Sam gives her a look and she puts up her hands.

“Listen I only know the roster so I can make sure the tweets are accurate.”

“Ok. Fair enough. Ransom and Holster are the names they gave me, because hockey nicknames or whatever.”

“Hockey nicknames,” Elena agrees, rolling her eyes.

“So get this, they are literally _always_ together and the one time they were on a date here it was a double date and I honestly couldn’t tell who was on a date with who. Plus, they have each other’s drink orders memorized, including their finals week drink orders, which are different because apparently caffeine makes Ransom’s anxiety worse.”

“Ok, but they’re probably just good friends?” Elena suggests because _in love_ feels like a reach.

Sam sighs, “Maybe, but hear me out. Captain and short dude, right?”

“Zimmermann and Bittle,” Elena offers.

“They come in here like _all_ the time. Like 3 mornings a week they’re in here. Zimmermann always orders a tall black coffee, short guy, Eric, or I guess Bittle, always gets some sugary drink that costs like $6 and every time Zimmermann pays. And then they sit in the corner and he spends like 20 minutes trying to make Bittle laugh, while Bittle just sits there and blushing and giggling like a schoolgirl.”

Elena considers this. That does sound a little more like they’re dating. But still, she’s not entirely convinced.

“Wait, you said 8 of them, who are the other two?”

“Oh!” Sam’s face lights up, “You know the three freshmen who are like, _always_ together?”

“Oh, Chow, Poindexter, and Nurse?” Elena knows them a little better because on their own they aren’t a problem, but all three together are a nightmare. A “CODE RED” tweet nightmare. Chow has apologized to her like 6 times this semester for the other two getting in fights even though Elena has heard him instigate it at least twice.

Sam nods and then laughs. “God you really take that twitter account seriously, huh?”

Elena frowns because she doesn’t like the other implications there. “That twitter account is a public service and they also happen to be the most problematic people who come into the library. Plus, my job leaves a lot of time to do dumb stuff like memorize the hockey roster.”

“Ok, ok, I believe you,” Sam says, although her smirk says otherwise.

“Ok but back on topic you think they’re _all_ in love with each other?” Elena asks incredulously.

“No, no, Chris has a girlfriend, they’ve been on dates here. I’m talking about the other two.”

“Um, they definitely hate each other,” Elena says.

“Ah, but love and hate are so close, aren’t they?”

Elena is not convinced by any of this and says as much, to which Sam just smiles.

“You don’t have to believe me, but just pay attention to them when you’re at work, I think you’ll come around,” she says with a wink as she moves back to the register.

Elena finishes her coffee and heads to work tossing a “We’ll see!” to Sam as she leaves.

* * *

Elena doesn’t spend too much time thinking about whether or not some of the hockey team is actually in love with each other until her shift on Friday afternoon. It’s _weird_ to speculate about random people being secretly in love with each other and she’s not going to do it.

Well, she wasn’t going to do it until they all chose to sit by the circulation desk today. But that isn’t her fault. Nor is it her fault that they all talk loud enough that she can hear everything they say.

**@IsSMHInTheLibrary**

“YES. LIKE ALL OF THEM ARE. #staysafe”

She sends out the tweet and then gets busy re-shelving books. But its Friday afternoon and whoever had the morning shift re-shelved everything already. So instead she tries to do a little bit of homework, while also discreetly observing the hockey players. It’s not like she thinks Sam is right. But if she has proof Sam is _wrong_ then she has a reason to go back to Annie’s.

Except. Maybe she _is_ onto something.

Elena still isn’t convinced that Nurse and Poindexter are in love. They definitely seem like they hate each other and only hang out together because they’re best friends with Chow.

The other four are a little more compelling.

Oluransi and Birkholtz have been referred to as Ransom, Rans, Ransypoo, Holster, and Holtzy since they got here, and she definitely doesn’t understand hockey nicknames. She also doesn’t understand their relationship at all. In the span of five minutes they have discussed: sleeping in the same bed because of ghosts (?), who they’re taking to Winter Screw, and how they’re going to ‘host an epikegster to end all epikegsters’ next weekend. She thinks she understands where Sam is coming from based on the “sleep in the same bed because of ghosts” thing, but it honestly seems like they’re just really close friends.

Zimmermann and Bittle on the other hand… there might be something there. Zimmermann seems like he’s all seriousness until he steals Bittle’s phone and teases him about tweeting instead of doing his homework. And then Bittle is teasing Zimmermann about not knowing who Ariana Grande is and is fighting to get his phone back. And, well, just because Elena has never been interested in boys, doesn’t mean she doesn’t know how they flirt.

She’s definitely reading too much into it but…

She ends up in Annie’s Monday morning relating her findings to Sam and admitting that _maybe_ she wasn’t totally off base about all of it.

* * *

Somehow this turns into Elena coming to Annie’s twice more that week and swapping hockey boy stories with Sam. This somehow turns into getting Sam’s number and texting her when they show up in the library.

Which somehow turns into Sam texting her over winter break.

Which definitely doesn’t mean anything, although Elena wishes it did.

* * *

Spring semester starts, and with it comes a new work schedule for both of them. This is how Elena ends up in Annie’s drinking a double shot latte at 6:30am while Sam gets ready for the 7:30 rush.

Elena is considering quitting her job and/or dropping out of school entirely when the bell rings and in walks Zimmermann and Bittle. Elena smothers a laugh because Bittle looks like he is wearing every single winter item he owns and its only 26 degrees.

Sam serves them with a far too happy voice for this early in the morning and turns to make meaningful eye contact with her while they fight over who gets to pay.

“I’m good for it Bittle,” Zimmermann says handing out his card with a laugh.

“Ok Mr. Future NHL Star,” Bittle responds, sliding his card towards Sam who takes it with a wink. “But you’ve paid for coffee the last _seven_ times and I know your sad, disgusting, little black coffee doesn’t cost near as much as what I order.”

Sam makes their drinks while Elena pretends that she isn’t watching them bicker over coffee orders like Sam says they’ve done a hundred times before.

Zimmermann steals the fancy latte the second Sam places it on the counter and takes a dramatic sip.

“Hm. At least there’s milk. So, you, know—”

“Protein. _Yes,_ I am aware Mr. Zimmermann,” Bittle says with the world’s least convincing glare.

Zimmermann grins at him and walks toward a table in the corner and Bittle follows with a put-upon sigh but fond smile.

Elena talks to Sam while the boys drink their coffee, because they both recognize that eavesdropping on their conversation definitely pushes them into the “creepily invested in other people’s lives” category.

The second they leave they both burst out into giggles.

“Ok. Ok. I know I was skeptical a few months ago but _holy shit_. Like, that seemed SO much like a date right? Like how does that _not_ count as flirting?”

“I KNOW. But I swear they don’t seem to understand. Or at least I don’t think Zimmermann gets what he’s doing. Like did you see the wistful looks Bittle kept shooting him?”

“I did NOT,” Elena says, “because I was looking at _you_ instead of spying on two random hockey players.”

A second too late she realizes how that sounded. But Sam just laughs at winks at her.

“I know, I’m better looking than the both of them.”

Elena just nods and smiles a little because _what is happening right now?_

She’s a little bit relieved to see that its 6:50 and she needs to leave for work because she’s not quite sure how to process that interaction.

* * *

She gets a text from Sam that afternoon.

**Sam:** hey do u think we should maybe go to a hockey game so we have a good reason to know so much about the players?

There’s one this weekend if u want to go!

Elena’s not sure how she feels about watching sports, but she thinks Sam makes a good point.

**Elena:** Probably a good idea lol

Can you buy tickets? I can pay you back

**Sam:** yep!

its saturday at 7pm btw

Elena sends back a thumbs up and tries not to think too hard about what it’ll be like to hang out with Sam outside of her workplace. It’s not difficult because just then, Nurse, Poindexter, and Chow come into the library and Nurse immediately trips over nothing.

“Guess I’m falling for you Sexy Dexy,” he says with a wink which prompts yelling from Poindexter and laughing from Chow.

**@IsSMHInTheLibrary**

“Nurse, Poindexter, AND Chow in the library. Already fighting. STAY AWAY.”

* * *

Saturday rolls around and Elena spends approximately way too much time trying to figure out what the hell you wear to a hockey game with a girl who’s definitely not flirting with you but is also cute.

She makes it to the rink just in time and smiles at Sam as they head inside.

“So other than the roster and who is potentially in love with who, do you know _anything_ about hockey?” Sam asks, “because I definitely don’t.”

Elena shakes her head and shrugs. “We can probably figure it out?”

They can’t. They puck is a lot harder to see than Elena expected, and people keep getting slammed into the glass. It’s exciting but neither of them can figure out the rules or what the hell “icing” or “off-sides” means. What they can figure out is that Chow is a really good goalie and the on-ice chemistry between Zimmermann and Bittle, _and_ Oluransi and Birkholtz, _and_ Nurse and Poindexter is pretty great.

“All I’m saying,” Sam says for the third time that night, “is that chemistry is chemistry and maybe repressed hockey bros can only understand their deep homoerotic emotions through sport.”

“And I’ll _I’m_ saying, is that maybe it’s just hockey and we don’t understand jocks at all.”

They pause to cheer because Zimmermann just scored another goal off Bittle’s pass.

The two hug on the ice and Sam sighs.

“Ok, _fine._ We definitely don’t understand hockey or jocks but that doesn’t mean we’re wrong.”

“Sure,” Elena says nudging Sam with her shoulder. She has to bite her lip to keep from smiling at the way Sam leans back into her.

The game finishes a 3-0 win for Samwell and they cheer with all the other fans in their section.

“Ok so I definitely don’t understand like 75% of the rules but that was pretty fun,” Elena says as they follow the crowd out of Faber.

“Are we becoming hockey fans? Is that what’s happening right now?” Sam asks.

_If it means we can keep hanging out like this then I’d say yes to anything_ Elena thinks.

“Maybe?” she says out loud.

Sam smiles at her and Elena smiles back.

“Hey, I know it’s like 15 degrees outside, but do you want froyo?”

Elena narrows her eyes. “Yes, but _only_ if you let me pay, since you won’t tell me how much the hockey tickets cost.”

“I can accept that.”

Elena wonders if its normal that they keep smiling stupidly at each other. She doesn’t want to mess up this friendship.

* * *

It becomes a thing.

The same way that texting and coffee became a thing.

When Samwell has home games and they’re both free they go and cheer and analyze the intricate rituals of hockey and get fro-yo afterwards.

It’s never a date as much as Elena wishes it was.

But it’s ok because she hasn’t had this much fun in college before.

Work is a lot more fun when she can listen to hockey drama while she’s shelf reading.

(It’s also a lot more fun when Sam shows up and pretends to ask her about books for half an hour.)

* * *

**@IsSMHintheLibrary**

“Just Bittle and Duan. You’re safe for now.”

“Did I tell you I literally ran into the Falconers AGM today?” Elena hears Bittle ask Duan, the team manager.

“You _literally_ ran into him?” Duan asks.

“Her actually. And yes. Lord, it was so embarrassing. She was running with Jack, I guess they were talking about Jack meeting the team.”

“So I guess the Falcs are really in the running then?”

“I guess. That wouldn’t be so bad you know, Providence is only 40 minutes away.”

Elena has to keep moving so she doesn’t hear how Duan responds, but when she gets back to the desk she pulls out her phone to text Sam.

**Elena:** So hockey boys update. Apparently Zimmermann is considering the Falconers? And Bittle already looked up how far away that team is? I’m still a skeptic but I think you’re at least right about Bittle having a crush.

**Sam:** i still maintain that the crush is reciprocated

also falconers is interesting i didnt know he was looking at expansion teams

also also i just sounded like such a sports fan right there i hate that for me

**Elena:** Hate to break it to you, but we’re like real hockey fans now

**Sam:** ugh gross

were still going to the game on friday tho right

**Elena:** yes we are because we’re real hockey fans now

* * *

**@IsSMHInTheLibrary**

“Just Chow and Poindexter. Safe for now.”

“NEVERMIND. Nurse just showed up. #staysafestayhome”

**@IsSMHInTheLibrary**

“Oluransi, Birkholtz, and Knight. Someone is crying. DO NOT ENTER THE LIBRARY.”

**@IsSMHInTheLibrary**

“Just Zimmermann and Duan. All clear.”

* * *

Spring semester goes on and Elena has to admit that either she’s going insane or Sam might actually be right on more than one count.

At this point she’s seen Zimmermann and Bittle go on like 5 coffee dates that aren’t dates and leave each other little notes in the library, heard Oluransi and Birkholtz proclaim their love for each other and talk about “bro kisses” at least 4 times, and listened to, on one memorable occasion, Nurse recite a poem to Poindexter that was all about the beauty of fall.

She also saw two hockey players, O’Meara and Wicks, she thinks, fist bump and then kiss each other one time. So Sam is at least right about 2/8 hockey boys.

Hockey players are weird. But they’re also headed to the Frozen Four which is pretty exciting.

Elena tells Bittle as much when he comes up to offer her a mini pie for not kicking the team out of the library.

“Oh gosh, yeah! I can’t believe we’ve made it this far,” Bittle says.

“Good luck this weekend!” she replies and Bittle gives her a thank you back.

It’s only when Bittle walks away that she realizes this is the first time she’s spoken to a single hockey player despite how much she knows about them.

* * *

“We’re being creepy aren’t we?” Elena asks the second Sam walks up to where they’re meeting to study together.

“About hockey boys? Yeah. But like, they’re probably used to girls being weirdly obsessed with them.”

Elena grimaces, “Ok but I’m not interested in them like _that._ ”

A weird look crosses Sam’s face that Elena can’t interpret, and for a moment she wonders if she just made a mistake.

“Ok, I mean, not really me either, or like, only 50%? But like I wouldn’t worry about it,” Sam says quickly.

They both fall silent.

“Uh, did we both just come out to each other in like the most convoluted way possible,” Elena finally asks.

Sam laughs and tension breaks and Elena lets out a breath.

“I’m bi and completely unconcerned about speculating about their love lives,” Sam offers.

“Cool,” Elena laughs, “I’m a lesbian and definitely a little concerned, but also way too invested at this point to stop.”

They chat and study and its nice like always, but Elena can’t help feeling like something has changed. _But I’m probably just overthinking it._

* * *

Elena and Sam watch from the couch in her apartment as Samwell loses the championship game.

“I cannot believe I’m legitimately sad about hockey right now,” she says, wiping her eyes. “You know this is 100% your fault, right?”

“I am so sorry,” Sam says pulling her into a hug. “Will you forgive me for making us into hockey fans if I buy you froyo?”

Elena sighs into Sam’s hug and nods. “I suppose.”

They put on jackets because it’s still kind of cold for April and Sam pulls her hat off her head and pulls it on Elena’s head with a grin. For the 100th time in the past few weeks she can’t help but think _this feels like flirting_.

They walk to the froyo place and Sam gets Elena’s for her, because they’ve apparently done this enough that she knows exactly what Elena likes to get. She waves off Elena’s offer to pay for her own because “I owe you, and I’m good for it.”

They go sit down in their usual place in the corner and that’s when it clicks.

“Oh my god,” Elena whispers.

Sam raises an eyebrow in question. 

“We’re idiot hockey boys too.”

“We’re—what?”

“Sam.”

Elena reaches out and grabs her hands across the table. _How on Earth could they be this stupid._

“Are we on a date right now? Do you want this to be a date?”

Sam looks down at their hands but doesn’t pull them away.

“Um. Yeah. Kind of.”

Elena waits a minute for Sam to understand. She can tell the minute what she gets it because Sam bursts out laughing. Elena starts laughing too.

“Does this make us huge hypocrites?” Sam asks through a giggle.

“Probably,” Elena responds, leaning across the table, “but I’d rather kiss you than think about that right now.”

The kiss isn’t very good because they can’t stop giggling, but Elena thinks that might make it perfect.

_They might be idiots but at least **they** figured it out._

* * *

The year ends and Elena and Sam are too busy making up for lost time to think too hard about idiot hockey boys who don’t realize they’re in love.

The next year they still don’t think about it too hard.

But a few times Zimmermann comes in with Bittle and they get coffee and sit at their table and it seems like maybe it really is a date.

And sometime in the spring semester Elena realizes that she hasn’t heard Oluransi talk about his girlfriend March in a while, and the number of ghost-related bed sharing stories has increased.

And Sam said one-time Poindexter came into Annie’s with Chow and ordered a complicated latte from memory and turned bright red when Chow asked him how the hell he knew Nurse’s incredibly specific drink order.

So, it seems like maybe all of them are figuring it out.

And then the Falconers make it to the Stanley Cup Finals.

Elena is spending the summer in Sam’s apartment so she can do research at the university and Sam can keep her barista job. It’s only the beginning of June but Elena’s already convinced that this is going to be the best summer ever.

It’s also a good summer because The Falconers made it to the Stanley Cup Finals.

“You know I hate that we’re this invested in a stupid hockey game,” Sam says, settling onto the couch next to Elena. “I _cannot believe_ that we’re sports fans.”

“Babe, you say that every time we watch a hockey game, and I always have to remind you that this is in fact _your fault_ ,” Elena laughs.

Sam frowns and Elena kisses her.

“Are we ready to watch this or what?”

“Are you gonna cry if they lose like you did last year?” Sam asks.

Elena shrugs. “Let’s be honest. I am not ashamed to be in touch with my emotions. Nor am I ashamed to admit that I’ll probably cry a little bit even if they win.”

It’s the end of the third in Game 7 of the Finals and the score is tied.

Elena is pretty sure she’s losing feeling in her fingers from how tightly Sam is gripping her hand.

“We should never have become hockey fans,” she groans, “this is _way_ too stressful.”

Sam just grips her hand tighter and whispers, “Come on Zimmermann, you got this.”

And he does.

Jack Zimmermann scores the game winning goal and the Falconers win.

Elena’s not sure how long she and Sam scream at each other but she hopes no one calls the police. She’s maybe crying just a little bit.

They leave the postgame coverage on in the background while they mix celebration drinks and that’s when Sam squeals and drags Elena in front of the tv.

There on screen is Zimmermann kissing Bittle on center ice.

“Holy shit,” Elena whispers.

“I can’t believe I was right,” Sam whispers back.

They stand there and watch until the camera pans away and the newscasters scramble to figure out how to address what just happened.

“Wait? Did you not think you were right about them?” Elena asks.

“Um…” Sam says, taking a step back. “I may have meant it as a joke? But then you kept coming back to talk about it so I _had_ to commit to my stance, so you’d keep talking to me.”

Elena laughs because _honestly_.

“For what it’s worth, I would’ve found a way to keep talking to you,” she says, pulling Sam in.

They both glance back at the TV which is showing Zimmermann and Bittle again, now surrounded by their friends.

“They look happy,” Sam says leaning in closer.

“Guess even idiot hockey boys get their happy endings,” Elena whispers.

And she kisses Sam.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on tumblr @unconventional-turtle!


End file.
